rambles to rubbles

Life has been so upside-down for me lately, and now things are calm(er). And it's eerie. More accurately, it's freaking me out.

I'm still mapping out the emotional earthquake's damage to my foundational core. I've discovered the fault lines. And now I am waiting for the aftershocks and scared silly. I am looking for warning signs everywhere...my own personal seismic stations calibrated to record even the smallest rumble of trouble.

The trouble is, bracing for what may come has robbed me of what is already here.

"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I." (Isaiah 58:9 NIV)


Here, my loved ones are happy, healthy, safe.

Here, I am still standing.

Here, God is with me.


I wish I could tell you I am absolutely at peace with my 'here'. But I can tell you I am working on it. I want to recognize and live my 'here's' with a spirit of thankfulness and joy. Because the here and now is all I've got.

And it's all I need.