flutter-byes

So tomorrow I leave on a trip of a lifetime. And in return, I leave my life behind, for a time.

My suitcases are packed, bulging at the seams with ideas and faint memories of what it was like to worry only about me. The work clothes of wife and mommy will be left behind, folded in a corner, releasing a quiet sigh as they settle.

13 days. 13 days I will go to sleep without kissing my angels goodnight, tucking their warm bodies into the folds of their blankets. 13 days I will go to sleep without kissing my soulmate goodnight, then snuggling up close to his chest, breathing in his love. My heart aches at the time stamp, and I wonder if I will be able to leave this behind.

But deep inside I feel the seed of adventure begin to sprout. It is an old feeling, and it catches me off-guard. This seedling knows me only by my God-given name: Sherri-Dawn. This seed was planted by the Almighty Gardener over three decades ago. It has been awhile since I've tended to this life-force. Its sweet fragrance reminds me of simpler times, when there was only me. Days were filled with love-to's and get-to's, rather than must-do's and should-do's. Questions didn't centre around why? But rather, why not? Life was lived for the day and everyday was another adventure. And my self is tingling with anticipation for this next adventure.

I am reminded that while I cherish my God-given gifts of my husband and children, I have too often neglected my God-given gift of self. With a 10 hour time difference, this new adventure allows me to focus on my relationship with God. To experience His love, adventure and sense of wonder in a package that is only meant for me.

I need to believe that God's timing is perfect. There are many dark shadows that haunt my heart, and some nights the worries nearly suffocate me. Many times I thought about canceling this trip, scolding myself for even considering a recreational trip when there is so much turmoil.

So I have prayed, and cried, and prayed. I place my trust in God that He will not waver. That He
is not limited by timezones, oceans and heavy hearts.

I am reminded of Jesus' words: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27).

These words are like sweet sunshine, to which I will take to the skies and follow.

working mommy

So I have to share this story...
Last weekend I was honoured to work as a volunteer at the Break Forth Canada conference. However, the long hours away from home for two evenings and then two more straight day and evening shifts weren't sitting well with my children.

My son was especially upset when he realized I wouldn't be at his soccer game on Saturday morning. "But mommy, you are always at my soccer games," pleaded my four-year old. "You nevvvvvver miss my games." I heavy-heartedly explained that I had to miss the game because mommy had to work. Ever the inquisitive little boy, he asked who I was working for.

I knelt down to look him straight in his blue-green eyes and whispered, "mommy is working for Jesus." He glanced away for a moment and stared outside the window. When he once again locked eyes with me he said, "okay mommy, I'll let you work with Jesus."

Out of the mouths of babes...

Overflowing gratitude

I am literally bursting with gratitude after this weekend's Break Forth Canada Conference. My spirit soared to heights I never knew possible, I heard God's voice in my heart, and I worshiped my creator alongside 7,000 other souls. Praise God.

379. Being able to serve at Break Forth Canada. I am still processing all the wonders God showed to me.
380.Discovering Brenton Brown. I love his music.
381. Prayers said on my behalf by friends and strangers alike.
382. Hearing God's voice in my heart.
383. Tears of joy flowing all weekend.
384. Backstage access.
385. God's grace, especially when I felt overwhelmed.
386. The words "I am so proud of you"
387. Husband to watch the children all weekend without their mother.
388. A warm bed to crawl into after a long day's work.
389. Media that reported on God's conference.
390. Meeting Lee Strobel.
391. Praising with Michael W. Smith.
392. Being asked to serve.
393. Warm embraces.
394. Having a family to come home to.
395. Plane tickets booked to Dubai.
396. Wonderful circle of family and friends to help husband while I am gone for 13 days.
397. Home insurance to cover water damage from kids having a bit too much fun in the bathtub.
398. Making chocolate fudge brownies with my son and smearing chocolate over each other's faces :)
399. Daughter who is now potty-trained (yipppppeee!)
400. Internet access.
401. Feeling God's presence in my life like never before. Praise God.