taking time

Taking time to receive His gifts...

1331. Sick days to recharge.
1332. Hurried mornings with kids.
1333. Daughter's baby bear sitting in her carseat "to be safe" until I pick her up from daycare.

1334. Dog who eats morning cheerios that spilled all over the carpet.
1335. Boy who can make his own breakfast - but not too big yet that he needs mommy to help clean up the mess. XOXO
1336. Waking up in the night to grab my little girl and bring her into my room. Totally selfish on my part - but my heart needed it.
1337. Nana and Papa who watch and play with their grandchildren.
1338. Turkey dinner with all the trimmings because it's a Sunday. Thanks mama.
1339. Watching my husband play a sport he loves.
1340. Candles and cozy blankets.
1341. curling up to sleep under a fluffy duvet blanket.
1342. Watching daughter run down a soccer field. Such joy in her eyes.
1343. Oatmeal muffins in the oven.
1344. Hearing the words "I love you mommy" everyday.
1345. Husband's smile.
1346. Dog who follows me around the house.
1347.An extra paycheque.
1348. Reminders to rest.
1349. A beautiful, warm fall season.
1350. Watching the miracle of pregnancy develop with my two sisters.
1351. Just because love notes.
1352. My son's two grown up teeth.
1353. Son drawing whipped cream happy face on pumpkin pie.

pausing in thanks to receive His giving...

Reflecting on the gifts my heart received this weekend of Thanksgiving...

1321.

1322.

1323.

1324.

1325.

1326.

1327.

1328.

1329.

1330.

beautifully awesome

My very thoughtful friend Claire directed me to this post...which I absolutely love. It's from this blog and this is her writing:

There was a time when you were five years old,

and you woke up full of awesome.

You knew you were awesome.

You loved yourself.

You thought you were beautiful,

even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.

You loved your body, and the things it could do.

You thought you were strong.

You knew you were smart.

  

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?

Wouldn’t that be nuts, to tell my little girl below that in another five or ten years she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?

Or even more bizarre, that she should be sexy over smart, beautiful over bold?

Are you freaking kidding me?

Look at her. She is full of awesome.

You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.

All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself, you are really missing out.

____________________________

Melissa Atkins Wardy advocates and writes about issues involving the sexualization of girlhood. You can read her blog at:http://blog.pigtailpals.com . It is time we change the way we think about our girls.

Here's my girl showcasing her very own line of awesomeness!

(she dressed herself...just in case you needed any clarification :)

intentionally on purpose...mostly

"What defines us?" I ask my husband while we clean up the toast crumbs that escaped from our children's hungry mouths at lunch.

He pauses before answering. I keep my eyes down, not wanting to let him examine my thoughts. I know he is looking to read my face, to know if this question is a set-up to which he cannot answer in any way that would make me happy (you know those questions, like do you think she's pretty?).

I decide to rescue him. "It just seems like everyone else's family has their thing. I just wonder what ours is." It's now my turn to pause, to sort out my scattered thoughts, as I rinse the last of our dishes under the hot water. "Most of the time I feel like we're watching everyone else enjoy close relationships and, I..."

Now husband leans against the counter, waiting for me to continue. "I just feel like we aren't getting anything out of what we choose to do with our time. I want to be more intentional with what we do, and who we choose to do things with."

I put my eyes down again and scrape some melted cheese off the counter with my fingernail. The truth is, I miss my friends. I miss my kids playing with their kids. I miss being a part of their lives and having them be a part of mine.

My husband sees this. He reads the slump in my shoulders and the tension in my heart. "I want to be more intentional too." He draws me close. "I think we're ready for that now."

I lean back into him, thankful for his strength and his comfort.

We are ready.

XOXO

falling down

I love fall. The comfort of it. The smell of it. But most of all I love the permissions this season brings.


I am permitted to slow down.  Let go. Retreat. Snuggle. Take comfort. Look inward. Reflect.


Autumn always speaks to my soul. And I want to take the time to listen to what my soul is saying.


There have been a lot of changes in my life since last fall. I have begun to find myself, through my own journey and through circumstances that have consumed me.

I have also journeyed on a ribbon of a thing called grace, and lived through with beyond my wildest expectations hopes that God could work a miracle in my own heart and that of the one I love to bring two lost hearts back together again.


I honestly did not think it was possible to laugh again. I had forgotten what it felt like to smile and know that everything was alright.  I forgot what it was like to trust - in others, myself and in God. And yet, through it all, there was always a glimmer of hope.


My husband and I have made it a fall ritual to watch Lord of the Rings. One scene in particular has always captivated my thoughts, and the dialogue has been running through my heart and mind over the past year:

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam. 

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end.  

Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?

But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come.

And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why.

But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. 

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? 

Sam:  That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

I too, had lots of chances to turn back. There were many times when I wanted to shut everything and everyone out and allow the enemy to turn my heart into an unfeeling piece of stone. But somehow I found the strength to hold onto a small corner of my heart. This one last piece of flesh fought to survive in my world of cold stone and shadows. A beating reminder there is still hope to feel, move forward, and grow. Somewhere, somehow, I knew there had to be hope for a hopeless situation.


And God delivered.


God's love has, and will always be, the one thing that is absolute. Through Him, I am a living testament that He is constant and there will always be a new day. I have made it through the long shadow, and by God's grace, I am stronger in the knowledge that my heart is worth fighting for. 


And so is yours, dear friend.