me monster

This video was featured on a High Calling Blog post today: Me Monster: Fighting the Temptation to be Spectacular.

This routine by Brian Regan hit my very own 'me monster' right between the eyes....

feasting on grace

With open hands, I hungrily feast on God's grace in my life....

771. Get-away camping trip with just my husband.
772. Taking Sabbath moments...and holding my hands out for more.
773. The sound of Aspen leaves rustling in the wind.
774. Falling asleep to the sound of a crackling fire.
775. Acts of love.
776. Reading aloud to each other while sitting by the fire.
777. Comfortable silence.
778. Ice cream cones by the lake.
779. Seeing the spark in his eyes.
780. Knowing that God has NEVER abandoned me.
781. New recipes to try.
782. Playing chess with my five-year old son.
783. Having my son hold me tight as he fell asleep.
784.Tattoos coloured on my arm by my daughter.
785. Fantastic family to help with childcare.
786. The smell of my daughter's hair after a bath.
787. tall, elegant stalks of flowers in my backyard.
788. Tidy home (at least until tomorrow morning!)
789. Homemade meals.
790. My very own life.

what are you doing here?

Taking a purposeful pause from my own agenda to open my eyes to God's grace-filled plan:

758. Drizzly Monday with nowhere to be - a perfect PJ day at home.
759. Sunday fun at a friend's house watching the kids slip n' slide, bounce n' tumble and run wild n' free.
760. Bowls of fresh strawberries and grapes.
761. 90 days of freedom.
762. Embracing eight years of marriage with a hopeful look ahead.
763. Rocking the Bon Jovi concert with my mom.
764. Going outside my comfort zone.
765. My daughter's goofy grin.
766. Rumbling tummies and a pantry full of food.
767. Cuddles with my sleeping son.
768. My family's health.
769. God-given grace.
770. Inspiring words from my pastor: What are you doing here?

waves of grace

I made the rain come.

More accurately, I prayed for the rain to fall down on me.

God and I have an inside understanding about downpours.

He {of course} knows that a good dump of rain does wonders for getting my spirit out of the dumps. He's been pouring buckets, sheets and torrents into my life - and instead of running for cover - I close my eyes, raise my hands and drench myself in God's cleansing waters.

Photo credit: http://www.rocbike.com/tag/rain/

This week, I thank God for the waves of grace He's washed over me...

742. Real and HARD conversations.
743. Weekend retreat with a good friend and unedited words of truth.
743. The sound of Birch tree leaves rustling in the summer breeze.
744. A marriage proposal from my five-year old son. He is the King, and I am his Queen.
745. Listening to the kids sing happy birthday with all their hearts to their Lady Wanda.
746. Going from blonde to brunette. Change is good.
747. Soul-soothing music to fall asleep to every night.
748. Creases on my bible.
749. Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz.
750. Skor chocolate bars.
751. Flickering candles in a dark room.
752. Planned camping trip with just my husband.
753. Cash flow.
754. My 100th post on this blog :)
755. Quiet spaces.
756. Comfortable silence between friends.
757. God's love for me.

sidelined

Life has a way of folding into itself.

Days merge into months, months age into years. Too many future plans have come and gone, leaving only pixelated proofs on my camera's memory card.

Each day is a deliberate choice to dive in or sit on the sidelines. I have wasted too many days sitting on the outside - orchestrating supports for others and yearning for the never-enough approvals. A dangerous cycle that will only lead to my own undoing.

I'm feeling undone. Messy. Unstable. Vulnerable.....ALIVE?

Frederick Buechner said,"Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next."

I feel God is using my tears and frustration to call me off the bench and into the game. I have been resisting, because I don't want to get hurt. Not again. My muscle memory runs too deep.

But life has to be more than just avoiding pain. Because as I have learned, pain will always find you. Even if you think you've avoided the shadows by staying on the well-lit moral and responsible road - you are still walking on a path that was paved by His blood and sealed with His desire for us to love and live. Sitting on the sidelines will only make you numb.

God knows me better than I know myself. He knows that only the lows of frustration will get me moving forward....to cross the line and walk towards the joys of living.

Today I savour the joys that God has enticed me with:

728. Family daytrip to the amusement park. 8 hours of driving for 5 hours of fun. Unquestionably worth it.

729. Bleeding heart plant.

730. 78 days of freedom.

731. Reconnections.

732. Weekend plans for a quiet retreat with a dear friend.

733. Reading time.

734. Thunderstorms.

735. Bible study.

736. Small pats on my back from my three-year old daughter.

737. Phrases that come out of my five-year old's mouth. Today he said that "greasy is French for slippery." LOVE that little boy.

738. Tears.

739. Fun rides with Uncle TJ.

740. Irresponsible splurges.

741. God never giving up on me.

loving well

My soul screams with joyful "yes's!!!!!!" to Ann Voskamp's timely words. The Holy Spirit always finds a way to whisper what my heart needs to know....

"Why doesn't it matter more to love well? Where did I think I really would find happiness? Loving well, stepping over hurt, laying aside self and desires, draws on more of our interior resources than investing in a career, a skill, a personal pursuit. And yet, there are no promotions. No public status. No guarantees. " Ann's words pour into me....won't you read the rest here?