The greatest song of all

The high of elation fills my spirit like a drug, causing my self to drift high above struggle, loneliness and preoccupation to please. Words of praise fill my head, swirling in the far reaches of my mind in a lustful embrace with ego. "This attention is what you desire," breathes my ego, "now you can start to feel worthy." My heart responds with an increased pace, as if willing my blood to fill the empty recesses of yesterday's hopes and today's failures.

But what goes up, must come down.

Isn't it incredible that for every handful of praise, it only takes one careless remark to reduce you to an attention-starved child? Blood's ribbon of red, which carried feelings of joy and satisfaction, is quickly reduced to a pool of purples and blues ~ bruised reminders of my blemishes, which are quickly hidden to conceal signs of weakness.

Joy is fleeting, leaving one to wonder if it truly exists at all.

"In your distress you called, and I rescued you....I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, open wide your mouth and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:7,10)

God is speaking, "My dear child, your successes are not your own."

Success is the work of God through me, and it is only through God that I can be truly satisfied in my work. And truly rewarded.

For His love cannot be taken away, recalled or muddied. My achievements are orchestrated by Him, and as He is the Almighty Conductor, my eyes must watch Him for direction.

For if I allow my eyes to wander or become distracted by the words of others, I lose track of His works. I am left with only an earthly melody, sidelined to the shadows of the greatest song of all.

So I hope to keep my eyes on my Conductor, trusting Him to lead me in a dance of the soul, allowing His spilled blood to fill my self with His unending joy ~ a melody that can never be forgotten or stripped of its glory. A song written just for me. I want to dance.