Forever Friends

"Mommy, maybe I'll meet my new friends at the park today," states my four-year old son. You see, that's what he calls the kids at the park he hasn't met yet. It really doesn't matter how old the other kids are, whether his new friend is a boy or a girl - my son approaches the child the same. "Hi - do you want to play?" And with that, my little man makes a new friend and together they race around the green climbing bars, leaving their preschool footprints in the sand as they mark their friendship with a tour of the playground.

I admit I am jealous of the simplicity of it all. My son doesn't care if the other kid's hair is messy, what colour her jeans are, or whether the boy talks with a lisp. My little boy decided as soon as the other child accepted his invitation to play that they were friends. Plain and simple.

So when did it get complicated for me? Sure, I can point fingers at the mean girls in junior high who made fun of anyone that showed even an ounce of insecurity (and I tipped the scales). Or maybe it got complicated when I was betrayed by my 'best friends', or used by others because I was too afraid to speak-up. Whenever it was, I wish I could go back to simple truths of genuine friendship.

Back to before friendship was staked out with a preset list of conditions, punctuated with an unstated, but clearly understood, need to out-do the other. Back to when we hung out because we had fun, and we couldn't wait to see each other again.

Okay, my dear blog friends, here's the truth. I am totally jealous of those who have had the same best friend since they were kids. They made a connection with each other back when you chose a friend who really was just that -your friend - no matter what.

Now, I am trying to not to let the 'whats' matter.

I want to cleanse myself from the toxins of past friendships gone bad. I want to be the kind of friend that others say good things about behind my back, I want to be the kind of friend that can have my friend over when I am wearing sweats and a dirty t-shirt. I want to be goofy, serious and weird with my friends (sometimes in the same day...)

And so here I am.

I've grown past the days of trying to impress others, hiding my insecurities and shallow conversations. And you know what? It's taken me this long to figure out what my little boy already knows. So to my friends now, I love you. And to the friends I have yet to meet - I can't wait to laugh with you.

See you on the playground.