God-sized dreams

With a new year, comes a new start. Three days into January and I am still searching for what it is I really want to break free from, turn towards, and become. The word become lingers in my mind, its essence whispering to my soul. Become. Become. Become.

Become is heavy with responsibility, weighted by my past failures and shackled by excuses. Become a better friend. Become a better wife. Become a better mother. Become a better child of God. Without even trying, my goal of become is paralyzed by can'ts, won'ts and why bothers. No wonder my resolutions fall short year after year.

But this year seems different. For the first time in my life, I am recognizing that become is less about me setting and treking towards another goal.

God, in all His amazing power and glory, has found a way to simplify things for me, His struggling daughter. I hear Him whisper: "Be. Come."

Be. Be? Be! But how can I just be? Don't I need to be going somewhere? Doing something? How can I just BE? My mind begins reeling - plotting, planning...

"Come," He whispers again. The sweet sense of peace permeates my self, soothing my worries, calming my racing heart. Come. Yes, Lord, I want to come. I want you to lead me. I want you to have the plan. I'm tired of leading myself in circles. Yes, I will come. But how?

Then I begin to understand. My eyes gaze up to my bulletin board where a yellow church bulletin rests. I pluck the paper and begin to read: Transfiguration Sunday, February 22, 2009: Treasures and Hearts. The reading on the back has been marked by my blue pen: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." (Matthew 6:25,27,33,34)

So this is my God-sized dream: Be. Come.

I will be in the moment, celebrating child-like faith. I will watch how easily joy comes to my children and see God's plan in the present. And through this, I will enjoy being a friend, wife, mother and child of God. I will be thankful and purposeful in seeing God's hand in my life.

I will come to the Lord daily, through my prayers and actions. I will come to Him for joy, love, faith and strength. And when the darkness of worry, anger, disappointment, defeat and stress begin to shadow my resolve, He will lead me past the darkness and shower me with his Being.

I rejoice in becoming His.


**I'm linking up with (in)courage and A Holy Experience where we are sharing our God-inspired stories.